Why perspective might be the most important shift you can make
There is something I say often to clients, especially when they feel overwhelmed or not like themselves. You are living on the zoom lens of your life.
When we are in the middle of a hard season, our attention naturally narrows. We focus on what is right in front of us. The stress, the irritation, the sadness, the way we are reacting. And then something subtle but important happens. We start to judge ourselves for what we see. Thoughts like “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “Why am I so irritable?” or “I need to get it together” begin to take over. From that zoomed-in view, it can look like something is wrong with you.
But often, nothing is wrong. You are just very close to your life.
When I ask clients to “pan the camera back,” I am inviting them to widen the frame and include more context. Not to dismiss how they feel or minimize it, but to understand it. Because when we step back, we often see something very different.
The person who feels too emotional is often navigating a demanding job, raising children, carrying the mental load at home, and trying to show up for everyone around them. The person who feels irritable all the time may not have had a real break in months and is running on very little support. The person who feels down or disconnected may be quietly grieving a loss or a version of life they thought they would have.
When we widen the lens, the question shifts from “What’s wrong with me?” to “Of course I feel this way. Look at what I am holding.” That shift alone can soften self-criticism and create something many people are missing in hard moments, which is self-understanding.
It is important to say this clearly. The zoom lens is not bad. It helps you feel what is real and immediate. It brings attention to what matters and signals that something inside needs care. But when we stay there too long without stepping back, we lose perspective. And without perspective, it is easy to turn our reactions into our identity. “I’m overwhelmed” becomes “I’m failing.” “I’m irritable” becomes “I’m a problem.” “I’m struggling” becomes “I should be better than this.”
The wide lens interrupts that pattern. It adds context, it adds compassion, and it creates space for choice.
There is a specific moment I watch for in sessions. It is when someone pauses and says, “No wonder I feel this way.” Not as an excuse, but as an understanding. That moment matters. Because when you understand your reaction, you are no longer fighting yourself. And when you are not fighting yourself, you have more access to decide what to do next.
You might still feel irritable. You might still feel overwhelmed. But instead of taking it out on someone else or turning it inward, you can respond differently. That is where your power is.
You do not need a complicated process to begin practicing this. At the end of the day, or in the middle of a hard moment, ask yourself, “If I zoom out, what else is true right now?” Let yourself answer honestly. You might notice that you had multiple difficult conversations, that you are carrying more than people can see, that you have not had time to rest, or that you are dealing with something that is actually hard.
You are not trying to talk yourself out of how you feel. You are giving your feelings context. And from there, you can gently ask, “Given all of that, how do I want to respond?” That question shifts you out of reaction and into intention.
The goal is not to live in the wide lens all the time, and it is not to get rid of the zoom. We need both. Zoom helps you feel. The wide lens helps you understand. And when you have both, you are much less likely to feel stuck inside your experience. You can move through it with more clarity, more compassion, and more choice.
If you take one thing from this, let it be this. Before you decide something is wrong with you, pan the camera back. You might find that your reaction makes more sense than you thought. And from that place, you can begin to show up differently, not because you forced yourself to, but because you finally understand what you are carrying.
