Insights

Are We Incompatible or Overwhelmed?

I recently came across a line that stayed with me: “Modern couples struggle more with capacity than compatibility.” The more I thought about it, the...

Why So Many Couples Think Something Is Wrong When Their Relationship Changes

One of the things I find myself normalizing often with couples is that relationships are not static. They change over time. The feelings shift. The...

Zoom Lens vs. Wide Lens: A Shift That Changes Everything

Why perspective might be the most important shift you can make There is something I say often to clients, especially when they feel overwhelmed or...

When You’re Arguing But Actually Agreeing

There is a phrase I use in sessions that often gets a pause and a head nod from both partners. I call it violent agreement....

Why Do I Feel Responsible for Everyone Else’s Emotions?

There is a pattern I see often in the therapy room that can be hard to recognize in yourself because, on the surface, it looks...

Why the Same Patterns Keep Showing Up in Your Relationship

There is something I find myself explaining often in sessions, and I want to put it into words in a way that feels simple and...

It Feels Like They’re "Making" You Feel This Way But There’s More to It

When Control Replaces Regulation I recently came across a line that stayed with me: “When people can’t regulate their emotions, they try to control other...

The Shift That Helps You Feel More Understood

Do you like being sold something hard by someone? The kind of interaction where you can feel the other person trying to convince you. Their...

Who’s Running the Meeting in Your Mind?

In therapy, people often describe feeling pulled in different directions. Part of them wants to speak up.Part of them wants to stay quiet.Part of them...

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