Insights

Don't Wait Until You're Fighting to Have the Conversation

By the time some couples finally have an evening to themselves, the last thing either person wants is another difficult conversation. They've spent the day...

Is There Something Wrong With Me?

There are questions we ask because we want information, and there are questions that sound like questions but already contain a conclusion. Is there something...

Is It Me, Is It You, or Is It Us?

Maybe you’ve been questioning your relationship for a while, but every time you think you know what the problem is, you change your mind. You...

What If the Thing You Keep Asking For Never Comes?

There are things we want from the people we love that may never come in quite the way we hoped. Maybe you wish your partner...

Healing When You Still Don’t Understand What Happened

There is a particular kind of agony in having a relationship end without understanding why. You replay the last conversation, go back through old text...

Can You Love a Person and Not Accept Their Behavior?

Sometimes staying connected to someone we love requires us to hold two very different truths about them. We can know that a parent loves us...

When You and Your Partner See Family Differently

When two people build a life together, they aren't really starting with a blank slate. Each person arrives with a whole family culture behind them....

If I Have to Ask for It, Does It Still Count?

Imagine you have told your partner more than once that it means a lot to you when they initiate plans for the two of you....

The Hardest Part of a Conversation Isn't Talking

Something I hear fairly often from couples, especially early in therapy, is, “I don’t want to come here just to fight.” Sometimes only one partner...

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