Insights

Why Letting Go After Betrayal Can Feel So Hard

“I want to move on. I want to let it go. But if I do, it feels like I’m letting them get away with it.”...

The Conversation Beneath the Conversation

One of the most interesting things about working with couples is that the argument people bring into the room is rarely the whole story. A...

You Don’t Have to Fix Your Feelings to Move Forward

“When you stop trying to fix your thoughts and eliminate discomfort and instead focus on how to move forward with those experiences, something shifts. You...

Content vs. Process: What Your Conflict Is Really About

Most couples, and honestly most people, believe that if they could just solve the issue, the conflict would finally calm down. The dishes. The tone....

How to Trust Yourself When You Don’t Know What to Do

There is a question, or different versions of the same question, that I get asked more often than people might imagine: "Do you ever just...

How Can I Feel Less Lonely with the Person I Love?

There is a particular kind of loneliness that shows up in many of my therapy sessions. It is the ache of sitting beside your partner...

What Would Our Relationship Feel Like If We Both Assumed the Best?

What would shift if both people in a relationship made it a habit to assume the best of one another? Take a second and imagine...

You’re Not Listening vs. You’re Not Hearing Me

In a recent session, a couple sat across from me, caught in that familiar loop so many of us know too well. He was frustrated,...

The Trouble with Urgency

A client once shared that after a heated exchange with her sister, she fired off a long text late at night. At the time, it...

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